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10 points on eating out which you may or may not know - This Monkey's Gone To Heaven [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Calea

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10 points on eating out which you may or may not know [Oct. 4th, 2008|01:56 am]
Calea
[Current Location |home, at last.]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |throbbing in my brain that comes from being sick in addtion to pissed off]

not that anyone will read this, but on the off-chance that you do...here's a nice little note on the service industry:

1) to anyone who has ever said or thought to themselves regarding a server who does not fulfill your "needs" quickly enough "god, your job isn't even that hard" without having actually worked the job in question (as in, been a server yourself) SHUT THE FUCK UP. you have no idea how hard any job is (and yes, this applies to me regarding jobs I haven't done) until you have been in that position yourself. Any naive motherfucker who thinks that all servers do is get to work and take tables is a fucking idiot. It may not be your fault that you're an idiot, but you're an idiot nonetheless--server's open and close the store, which involves a good bit of work, and have sidework to do for every shift and day of the week. Guess who rolls the silverware, cleans every fucking thing you see in the store, gets more ice, all the little shit you goddamn customers never give a second thought to? Servers! That's right, even when we're slammed and have a billion tables to wait, we still have to do this shit because there's no one else to do it and it has to be done.

**2) The Most Important Point--to anyone who thinks when they leave a shitty tip "well, they get paid anyway"--NO, WE DON'T. we get paid 2 dollars and fucking thirteen cents an hour which--guess what! equates to ZERO DOLLAR FUCKING CHECKS when we get paid so NO, we DON'T get paid for what we do aside from the four or five dollars you decide to grace me with after I've busted my ass making all your fucking exceptions to the order that the kitchen gets mad at me for having to do and refilling your goddamn drink 18 times. NEVER excuse your cheap ass with thinking that we get paid aside from tips. WE DON'T.**

3) It is not, nor has it ever been, the server's responsibility to split checks (especially when you fuckers have six or more fucking people with a shit ton of drinks) when you don't tell us at the beginning. That shit is your responsibility, it will always be, so say something at the beginning or else you have NO right to get any kind of pissy when I have seven other tables and it takes me longer than a minute to split your checks, which, yes, does take much longer to do at the end than at the beginning.

4) No server, no matter how good they are, can perfectly handle gettting five or more tables coming in at the same time. You may not notice this at other restaraunts because larger corporate restaraunts have things like bussers and hostesses which ensure that this does not happen (or at least, they should), but at any smaller restaraunt where there is only one server, you may be actually forced to (GASP) put yourself in their postion and imagine that you are only one person trying to take five orders at once when no one is actually ready when you get to the table and take ten fucking minutes debating while you're there.

--piece of advice--if your service is shitty, TAKE A LOOK AROUND and ask yourself the following questions:
-have I seen any other server around the restaraunt at all?
-have the other tables been taking a long fucking time to order and generally been assholes?
-was I seated by someone or is my server literally the only one in the restaraunt?
-is there someone to bus tables or is just the server I see doing this?

questions like these will mightily help you out when making judgements about the quality of your service--there are, indeed, times when the restaraunt is empty, there are bussers and hostesses aplenty and you still get bad service, and in these situations I get pretty fucking pissed too, but NEVER assume your server's job is easy until you have used common fucking sense to take a look around and see what kind of situation they're in.

also, "we're in a hurry and we need to leave soon,"....if you were in that much of a fucking hurry, you would've placed a to-go order or gotten fast food, but no one on the planet should ever think they're special enough to go to any restaraunt where it takes time to prepare food (and SURPRISE! the wait staff actually has no effect on how long your food takes to make, that would be the KITCHEN'S fault, but you wouldn't think of that because you're so short-sighted that you need to yell at whoever is standing in front of you and penalize us for things we didn't do) in the middle of a lunch or dinner rush and somehow think you take priority over anyone else in the damn place. you don't, food takes time to make (which you might know if you ever stayed at home to make it yourself--but wait! that's still way fucking different because you only have one table to worry about there), deal with it.

5) Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually stop being a human being when I clock in. Being a polite and civil human being is still something that you should try to do, unless you are not a human being yourself.

6) To anyone who bitches about a gratuity added to parties: it is, in fact, much more difficult and time-consuming to wait on a party of any size not only becuase of having to take and deliver so many orders, but because, generally speaking, large parties never know what the fuck they want and we have to waste a lot of valuable time answering dumb fucking questions you could answer yourself if you looked at the menu. It's not like I dont' do the same thing when I'm in large parties, everyone does, but I recognize that it's a common phenomena and tip accordingly.

7) If you can't afford to tip appropriately DON'T FUCKING EAT OUT. They have fast food and a grocery stores for a reason. you pay not just for food but for service when you eat out, and while I fully appreciate that the title "tip" is misleading and am with you on the fact that a tip should just be a voluntary tip, that is unfortunately not the way it works in america. AT ALL. so unless you're in a foreign country where they actually pay their servers, never make that asinine assumption.

8) If you were raised by old or cheap people, you are probably not aware of this, but 20% is now the standard. Ask any fucking person in the industry and they will tell you this, I'm not shitting you or trying to rip you off, that is the fucking standard and there is NO such thing as a good tip that is anywhere below that. It sucks, but it's the way it is.

9)We don't even make all of that 20% you may or may not give us. We are obligated to tip out the bartender, busser, hostess or expo of our total sales, so when you tip 18%, it might end up being more like 10%...we're actually not being that greedy, cause 10% of whatever your bill is after we give you amazing service and we get paid nothing is actually jackshit and pretty insulting.


--it's just. not. that. difficult. to get out a fucking calculator. and figure out how much to put on what card or how much cash to give. IT IS, however, pretty difficult in certain situations for us to split up your shit at the last minute when we have a billion other tables wanting shit.


there's a final point here that I forgot, but do feel free if you have any issues or questions about what i've said or working in the service industry in general to contact me and I'm happy to address those...mostly what pisses me off is ignorance about the way it actually works because I can tell most people have no idea what it's actually like and are not trying to be dicks, but end up doing that nonetheless--cause knowledge is power!!

yeah.
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Comments:
From: sikinfinity
2008-10-04 10:03 pm (UTC)
I appreciate and respect all that you have set forth.

I would probably write my own about being a Runner if that was in any way a common occupation.
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